Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
Robin Williams

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.
Robin Williams

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.
Robin Williams

I left school and couldn’t find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stand-up. I’ve always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.
Robin Williams

I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.
Robin Williams

Being in the same room with people and creating something together is a good thing.
Robin Williams

Carpe per diem – seize the check.
Robin Williams

If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
Robin Williams

Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’
Robin Williams

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, ‘Can I use a lifeline?’
Robin Williams

Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.
Robin Williams

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
Robin Williams

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Robin Williams

You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Robin Williams

I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.
Robin Williams

I like my wine like my women – ready to pass out.
Robin Williams

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.
Robin Williams

Reality: What a concept!
Robin Williams

Comedy is acting out optimism.
Robin Williams

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
Robin Williams

What’s right is what’s left if you do everything else wrong.
Robin Williams

You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.
Robin Williams

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.
Robin Williams

We’ve had cloning in the South for years. It’s called cousins.
Robin Williams

People say satire is dead. It’s not dead; it’s alive and living in the White House.
Robin Williams

If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Robin Williams

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn’t work!
Robin Williams

When you look at Prince Charles, don’t you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?
Robin Williams

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was… a large Arctic region covered with ice.
Robin Williams

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, ‘Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.’ She’s got a baseball bat and yelling, ‘You want a piece of me?’
Robin Williams

You can start any ‘Monty Python’ routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.
Robin Williams

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I’ve ever eaten. It’s like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.
Robin Williams

I don’t do well with snakes and I can’t dance.
Robin Williams

I only ever play Vegas one night at a time. It’s a hideous, gaudy place; it may not be the end of the world per se, but you can certainly see it from there.
Robin Williams

I love kids, but they are a tough audience.
Robin Williams

In America they really do mythologise people when they die.
Robin Williams

Look at the walls of Pompeii. That’s what got the internet started.
Robin Williams

You have this idea that you’d better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous.
Robin Williams

The idea of having a steady job is appealing.
Robin Williams

Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it ‘all the money,’ but they changed it to ‘alimony.’ It’s ripping your heart out through your wallet.
Robin Williams

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.
Robin Williams

I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.
Robin Williams

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills – no, no. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.
Robin Williams

I’ve had a lot of people tell me they watched ‘Old Dogs’ with their kids and had a good time.
Robin Williams

Sometimes you have to make a movie to make money.
Robin Williams

In ‘The Secret Agent,’ it’s basically a character that was admired by Theodore Kaczynski, which is some fan mail you don’t really want to open. This is a man who is a chemist and who specializes in making bombs and despises humanity.
Robin Williams

Performing comedy in San Francisco to begin with is pretty wild. You’ve got to – you’ve got the human game preserve to play off of. And it’s a lot of great characters everywhere. You work off that, and then you play the rooms, and eventually you get to a point where you’re playing a club that is a comedy club, with other comics.
Robin Williams

In the process of looking for comedy, you have to be deeply honest. And in doing that, you’ll find out here’s the other side. You’ll be looking under the rock occasionally for the laughter.
Robin Williams

Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma.
Robin Williams

I’ve never been asked to appear on ‘I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!,’ so I guess I mustn’t be on the professional skids just yet.
Robin Williams

From the point of view of being in the public radar, comedians have less problems than other actors. Action movie stars like Stallone or Schwarzenegger usually attract the more aggressive fans.
Robin Williams

It’s hard when you read an article saying bad things about you. It is as if someone is sticking a knife on your heart. But I am the harshest critic of my work.
Robin Williams

The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don’t tell me jokes – I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction.
Robin Williams

Winning an Oscar is an honor, but, between you and me, it does not makes things easier.
Robin Williams

I loved school, maybe too much, really. I was summa cum laude in high school. I was driven that way.
Robin Williams

The ‘Aladdin’ thing – that’s not work; that’s just fun. Three days in the recording studio going mad, then the animators do all the work. Not a bad way to cash a large check, my friend.
Robin Williams

Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah.
Robin Williams

If Heaven exists, to know that there’s laughter, that would be a great thing.
Robin Williams

I loved running, but all of a sudden everything hurt so much. I started cycling when Zelda was born.
Robin Williams

My mother’s idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyper-positive – the world is a wonderful place, rainbows and unicorns. If you said anything contrary to her, you were basically exiled.
Robin Williams

Sometimes over things that I did, movies that didn’t turn out very well – you go, ‘Why did you do that?’ But in the end, I can’t regret them because I met amazing people. There was always something that was worth it.
Robin Williams

I basically started performing for my mother, going, ‘Love me!’ What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.
Robin Williams

The essential truth is that sometimes you’re worried that they’ll find out it’s a fluke, that you don’t really have it. You’ve lost the muse or – the worst dread – you never had it at all. I went through all that madness early on.
Robin Williams

For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I’m outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it’s hardest to see.
Robin Williams

Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person.
Robin Williams

I bought one of the first Nintendo systems and brought that home, and we were playing ‘Legend of Zelda’ at the time, and it was addicting, and I was playing it for hours and hours and hours.
Robin Williams

With film roles, it just has to be a character either I haven’t done before, or a role with somebody really interesting or with an interesting person or group of people.
Robin Williams

One of my favourite actors of all time, although he doesn’t necessarily play villains, is Peter Lorre.
Robin Williams

I have an idea for a movie called ‘The Walken Dead’ which is about a town where, instead of zombies, everyone becomes Chris Walken.
Robin Williams

I do believe in love; it’s wonderful – especially love third time around, it’s even more precious; it’s kind of amazing.
Robin Williams

A lot of vets like ‘Good Morning Vietnam’ – I get great letters from guys.
Robin Williams

I was only a leading man for a minute; now I’m a character actor.
Robin Williams

There’s a show in America where all these people compete with ferrets, and they don’t even do anything. They basically just hold them up, and if they don’t bite you, they might win.
Robin Williams

I met Nelson Mandela, and I really didn’t know what to say. It was years ago at a benefit. I was just in awe of this man because of what he’d done.
Robin Williams

My style is bad white-boy dancing. I can do swing a little bit, but nothing beyond that. My solo dancing is sad. I use my arms, badly.
Robin Williams

I knew Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were really talented. As actors, they were both studly young men, and they had great writers’ chops.
Robin Williams

I write on big yellow legal pads – ideas in outline form when I’m doing stand-up and stuff. It’s vivid that way. I can’t type it into an iPad – I think that would put a filter into the process.
Robin Williams

Tweets? That stuff kills conversation. And people taking pictures with their phone or recording you, sometimes surreptitiously, is creepy. They come up and just start talking to you, and you can see the red light on their phone.
Robin Williams

Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly.
Robin Williams

When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, ‘Oh, man!’ I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side.
Robin Williams

I enjoy performing for heavily armed people. It’s easier than going to Georgia.
Robin Williams

When I went home from Juilliard, I couldn’t find acting work.
Robin Williams

The improv, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but when it does, it’s like open-field running.
Robin Williams

The idea of Juilliard was that it would give you this toolbox full of skills that you could take with you and apply to anything.
Robin Williams

I think it’s great when stories are dark and strange and weirdly personal.
Robin Williams

I think ‘Dead Poets’ was probably my favorite, just to get started with the idea of doing a movie that people treated as more than a movie.
Robin Williams

I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish.
Robin Williams

I don’t have a college degree, and my father didn’t have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, ‘My boy’s got learnin’!’
Robin Williams

I’m much more open to being a supporting actor right now. At the age of 60, I’ll be second fiddle. Fine. I’m happy to do it.
Robin Williams